How to Sustain Motivation when You're Struggling
Edited by Flickety, Mimi, Krystle, Lillian May and 15 others
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. - Henry Ford
Never, never, never, never give up. - Winston Churchill
After being motivated initially, there comes the second part - staying motivated when you don’t feel the same excitement as you did in the beginning.
Perhaps something new has come into your life and your old goal isn’t as much of a priority anymore. Perhaps you skipped a day or two and now you can’t get back into it. Perhaps you screwed up and got discouraged.
If you can get yourself excited again, and keep going, you’ll get there eventually. But if you give up, you won’t. It’s your choice — accomplish the goal, or quit. Here’s how you can stop from quitting, and get to your goal.
1 Hold yourself back. When you start with a new exercise program, or any new goal really, usually you're raring to go, full of excitement, and with enthusiasm that knows no boundaries. You have no sense of self-limitation and think you can do anything.
It’s not long, however, before you do learn that you have limitations, and your enthusiasm begins to wane. A great motivator is that when you have so much energy at the beginning of a program, and want to go all out — hold back. Don’t let yourself do everything you want to do.
Only let yourself do 50-75 percent of what you want to do. And plan out a course of action where you slowly increase over time. For example:
If you want to go running, you might think you can run 3 miles at first. But instead of letting yourself do that, start by only running a mile. When you're doing that mile, tell yourself that you can do more! But don’t let yourself.
After that workout, you’ll be looking forward to the next workout, when you’ll let yourself do 1.5 miles. Keep that energy reined in, harness it, so that you can ride it even further.
2 Just start. There are some days when you don’t feel like heading out the door for a run, or figuring out your budget, or whatever it is you’re supposed to do that day for your goal.
Well, instead of thinking about how hard it is, and how long it will take, tell yourself that you just have to start. For example, just put on your running shoes and close the door behind you.
After that, it all flows naturally. It’s when you’re sitting in your house, thinking about running and feeling tired, that it seems hard. Once you start, it is never as hard as you thought it would be. This tip works well every time.
3 Stay accountable. If you've committed yourself publicly, through an online forum (try wikiHow's Chat Forum!), on a blog, in email, or in person, stay accountable to that group of people.
Commit to report back to them daily, or something like that, and stick to it! That accountability will help you to want to do well, because you don’t want to report that you’ve failed.
Consider even drastic measures of accountability. Give someone a sum of money and they can only give it back little by little every time you hit the gym, or for every pound lost, or every mile run. You can even draw up a contract!
4 Squash negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. This is one of the most important motivation skills, and it is important to practice it daily. It’s important to start monitoring your thoughts, and to recognize negative self-talk.
Just spend a few days becoming aware of every negative thought. Then, after a few days, try squashing those negative thoughts like a bug, and then replacing them with a corresponding positive thought. Squash, “This is too hard!” and replace it with, “I can do this! If that wimp on TV can do it, so can I!” It sounds corny, but it works. Really.
5 Think about the benefits. Thinking about how hard something is - is a big problem for most people. Waking early sounds so hard! Just thinking about it makes you tired.
But instead of thinking about how hard something is, think about what you will get out of it. For example, instead of thinking about how hard it is to wake early, focus on how good you’ll feel when you’re done, and how your day will be so much better. The benefits of something will help energize you.
6 Get excited again! Think about why you lost your excitement, then think about why you were excited in the first place. Can you get that back? What made you want to do the goal? What made you passionate about it? Try to build that up again, refocus yourself, get energized.
7 Read about it. Just read a book or blog about your goal. It will inspire you and reinvigorates you. For some reason, reading helps motivate and focus you on whatever you’re reading about. So read about your goal every day, if you can, especially when you’re not feeling motivated.
8 Find like-minded friends. Staying motivated on your own is tough. But if you find someone with similar goals (running, dieting, finances, etc.), see if they’d like to partner with you. Or partner with your spouse, sibling or best friend on whatever goals they’re trying to achieve.
You don’t have to be going after the same goals — as long as you are both pushing and encouraging each other to succeed. Other good options are groups in your area (be part of a running club, for example) or online forums where you can find people to talk to about your goals.
9 Read inspiring stories. Inspiration can come from others who have achieved what you want to achieve, or who are currently doing it. Read other blogs, books, magazines. Google your goal, and read success stories. You will soon grow to love reading success stories.
10 Build on your successes. Every little step along the way is a success — celebrate the fact that you even started! And then do it for two days! Celebrate every little milestone. Take that successful feeling and build on it, with another baby step.
Add 2-3 minutes to your exercise routine, for example. With each step (and each step should last about a week), you will feel even more successful. Make each step really, really small, and you won’t fail. After a couple of months, your tiny steps will add up to a lot of progress and a lot of success.
11 Just get through the low points. Motivation is not a constant thing that is always there for you. It comes and goes, and comes and goes again, like the tide. But realize that while it may go away, it doesn’t do so permanently.
It will come back. Just stick it out and wait for that motivation to come back. In the meantime, read about your goal, ask for help, and do some of the other things listed here until your motivation comes back.
12 Get help. It’s hard to accomplish something alone. Whether it's quitting smoking, running a marathon or writing a thesis, it is important to find your support network, either in the real world or online, or both.
13 Chart your progress. This can be as simple as marking an X on your calendar, or creating a simple spreadsheet, or logging your goal using online software.
But it can be vastly rewarding to look back on your progress and to see how far you’ve come, and it can help you to keep going — you don’t want to have too many days without an X! Now, you will have some bad marks on your chart.
That’s OK. Don’t let a few bad marks stop you from continuing. Strive instead to get the good marks next time.
14 Reward yourself often. For every little step along the way, celebrate your success, and give yourself a reward. It helps to write down appropriate rewards for each step, so that you can look forward to those rewards.
By appropriate, this means 1) it’s proportionate to the size of the goal (don’t reward going on a 1-mile run with a luxury cruise in the Bahamas); and 2) it doesn’t ruin your goal — if you are trying to lose weight, don’t reward a day of healthy eating with a dessert binge. It’s self-defeating.
15 Go for mini-goals. Sometimes large or longer-term goals can be overwhelming. After a couple weeks, we may lose motivation, because we still have several months or a year or more left to accomplish the goal. It’s hard to maintain motivation for a single goal for such a long time.
Solution: break it down into smaller goals along the way.
16 Get a coach or take a class. These will motivate you to at least show up, and to take action. It can be applied to any goal. This might be one of the more expensive ways of motivating yourself, but it works.
And if you do some research, you might find some cheap classes in your area, or you might know a friend who will provide coaching or counselling for free.
17 Never skip two days in a row. This rule takes into account our natural tendency to miss days now and then. We are not perfect. So, you missed one day… now the second day is upon you and you are feeling lazy; tell yourself "No! You will not miss two days in a row!".
18 Use visualization. Visualize your successful outcome in great detail. Close your eyes, and think about exactly how your successful outcome will look, will feel, will smell and taste and sound like.
Where are you when you become successful? How do you look? What are you wearing?
Form as clear a mental picture as possible. Now here’s the next key: do it every day. For at least a few minutes each day. This is the only way to keep that motivation going over a long period of time.
19 Be aware of your urges to quit, and overcome them. We all have urges to stop, but they are mostly unconscious. One of the most powerful things you can do is to start being more conscious of those urges.
A good exercise is to go through the day with a little piece of paper and put a tally mark for each time you get an urge. It simply makes you aware of the urges.
Then have a plan for when those urges hit, and plan for it beforehand, and write down your plan, because once those urges hit, you will not feel like coming up with a plan.
20 Find pleasure again. No one can stick to something for long if they find it unpleasant, and are only rewarded after months of toil.
There has to be fun, pleasure, joy in it, every day, or you won’t want to do it. Find those pleasurable things — the beauty of a morning run, for example, or the satisfaction in reporting to people that you just finished another step along the way, or the deliciousness of a healthy meal. Live in the moment.
Then think about the steps to your future and how you can smooth your dreams in each moment ahead...