OKJayhawk: Life's Irrefutable Laws
Life's Irrefutable Laws
• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
• Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
• Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
• Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK........you're it.
• Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
• A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
• It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
• Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
• If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
• Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
• The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
• TJ's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
• The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
• Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
• Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.